Hey honey I've got a surprise for you I think you'll like it.

Where we get super real about sex and today I'm going to be sharing with you 13 things that you really need to know. About BDSM while the Fifty Shades of Grey. Franchise definitely sparked an interest. In BDSM most BDSM experts agree it's not. Really a healthy or realistic depiction.

And that's because the relationship between the main characters is often reaching consent; it often includes pressuring and there are many elements of it which could be considered abusive. Now if a stranger ever approaches you as. Happens is the first movie and pressures you into signing a contract to do with your sex life that should let off a red flag and you should definitely not go along with it many people who are regular practitioners of BDSM attend weekly meetings know where the partier online forums and get-togethers where. They discuss different new techniques, different toys and elements of being in the BDSM community to me this is awesome. Because it means if you're thinking of exploring BDSM dating but you're not quite sure.

About it there. Is an amazing support network out there who can give you lots of advice and point you in the right direction. There's lots of lingo that you need to learn as you get more into BDSM some of the most common terms are sub and Dahmer which stand for submissive and dominant. And these are two of the most commonly practiced roles in the BDSM community. There are also tops and bottoms which are similar to subs and domes but tend to be a bit more inclusive particularly towards people who identify as LGBTQ I.

Another important acronym in the BDSM. Community is SSC and that stands for safe sane and consensual this is pretty much the pillar upon which all BDSM practices are built and if you don't abide by these practices and you're in a BDSM forum or group or even a BDSM Dungeon chances are you'll be asked to. BDSM isn't just about what happens when you're having sex a huge and really important element of BDSM is actually the pre and post care processes. That's because really successful BDSM practices are built upon clear communication and establishing of boundaries and consent before you.

Actually go ahead and then post care which allows you to debrief with your partner to check in with them and make sure they're feeling comfortable and ok with the experience and to see if they have any feedback which can help you for.

Next big misconception about BDSM is that it's something that happens during sex but in fact many people who practice BDSM don't always have sex because it's essentially about an exploration of power dynamics there are many other ways to practice it outside of having sex for example one partner might wear a certain outfit or a certain color that signals to the other partner that they can dominate them or must submit to them. Potentially when they're in a public place this is a private agreement between the two people and although it's not sexual in and of itself it can be incredibly sexually arousing for many people.

Another huge misconception about BDSM relationships is the idea that the submissive person is essentially powerless now while it might look and maybe even feel this way nothing could be further from the truth.

In actual fact it's the submissive who has the ultimate say and control and that's because the submissive will usually have a safe word that they can use at any stage to call stop to whatever is going on and it is ultimately the submissive that decides what kind of scenarios are going to be played out in the pre-k discussion while we often joke.